Before the Arrival

This is going to be a hurried post. The entire campus is going wild. There is excitement everywhere with the ever dozing administration turning into perfectionists overnight. There is just one topic of discussion everywhere: “Rahul Gandhi is coming to the School.” From state party leaders to a mess worker, it is the same utterance everywhere.

Here’s what different sections of the society had to say before His (‘the almighty?’) arrival.

· S State party G.Sec.: “Mr. Gandhi thinks that by coming over here and probably sleeping in some tribal homes and eating there bread, he can fix their problems.” (The state needs Godfathers like us!)

· I Institute’s Administration in a meeting with the students: “How can you even think of calling a politician to a technical institution? No wonder why we are always reluctant to support you.” (We are reluctant to construct a hostel in a year and now we have to construct a helipad overnight!)

· T Teachers to students: “Oh! Mr. Gandhi is coming. Will he talk to you? Please convince him to change the name of this institute.” (Yeah! A light in the darkness for you.)

· S Students to administration: “Postpone the examination scheduled on that day and leave the rest to us. We will find a way to get things done through him.” (The true master minds.)

· C Canteen worker: “Rahul Gandhi to congress ke liye aa rahe hain. Wo is hostel canteen ka kya, main canteen hi halat nahi sudhaar sakte.” (True words of wisdom.)

· M Mess Worker: ”Aamra o oke shunte jaabo. O kon bhaasha e kotha bolbe? Hindi na Bangla na Ingriji? (We too want to listen to him. What language will he speak in? Hindi or Bangla or English?) (The one truly interested!)

Feel free to add your reaction as comments.

Alternatives galore

I observed him carefully again. Here was a boy sitting on the opposite birth to me. My age. Hair reaching up to the shoulder, shirt unbuttoned to the waist and jeans folded up to the knees. I assumed he too was going to Delhi like me albeit with a very different purpose. I was on a mission. I was the elite. I guessed, he must be returning to his college. I didn’t venture to bother him and continued day dreaming about what lay ahead of me. A while later, my eyes fell on him again. This time he was reading from his diary. I observed that it was some handwritten notes in Hindi. Examination then; last minute preparations. I couldn’t help smiling. Poor dude is suffering from nerves. However, the fact that the notes were in Hindi aroused my curiosity. “Where do you study?” I asked after some hesitation. He told me. I looked at him with utter disbelief and amazement. I was curious and asked him to tell me more.

He told me that he was one of the twenty successful candidates to be selected from a hundred thousand applicants. He told me that his institution was one of its kinds in the country. He told me that his institute’s alumni included great names like Nasseruddin Shah and Anupam Kher. He told me that he was a student of the National School of Drama.

He too had a viva-voce during his entrance test but he was asked ‘what lights would best suit the stage while staging a murder scene.’ He too has internships to worry about but those include ‘training schoolchildren to stage famous plays.’ Finally, he too is tensed about his placements but that depended upon choosing between the theatre and the screen.

I flipped through the pages of his diary. It countained notes on the types of the modern stage, stage lights, latest costume styles, a list of all oscar winning movies and dramatis personae of plays he had directed in the past.

I asked him: “How? How could you build up the courage to choose such a different track?” His reply was: “I knew I was born for the theatre. I have been acting since I was eleven and staging plays in the town since I was fifteen. I knew I had to do this or else I do not know what I could have done.” Such was his confidence, his zeal to do things differently.

I wondered how many of us had unique talents that suffered in the hands of compulsion and stereotyped professions. I have known great actors and lyricists masked as engineers, authors and painters left craving as unwilling technocrats. Will we ever realise that we do not know what we want to actually do in our life. Quoting the play ‘Love in December’: “Most people do not know that they do not know what they want to do in their lives.” How true. I still believe that there is still time to seek what our heart seeks. I still believe that we ought to keep looking. The alternatives galore.

The Rename Game

I desperately wish to write something. Blogging is a great way to relieve tension and bring up the calm. As usual, I have nothing to write but the motivation is high and the night has just begun. So here I am; hunting for a topic to pen down my thoughts. My last presentation of one aspect of college life seems to have gone well with my scanty bunch of faithful readers. Therefore this time I try to explore another fun aspect of college life: the renaming. It can be easily said that you enter college with your pleasant and sweet name and you go out re-christened with a cryptic acronym drafted out of your name. I and my friends have been victims of this weird tradition and I am sure my dear reader, if you be from some other college, you have been too. That’s how, Siddhant becomes Sid, Nilesh becomes Nilu, Gyanendra becomes Gyani and Vijit becomes Biju (this one in paricular reflects the creativity of a professor.) As far as I am concerned, I have been DD since time immemorial. I think it must have been sometimes after my birth that much to my annoyance, I have been stamped by this acronym which has now become my identity and has replaced my name which could have reflected my parents’ creativity.

However, I consider myself luckier as there are worse victims. There are people, who are almost unidentifiable if you call out their true names. I often wonder who the hell Ashish Yadav is for he is Haria/Harry (for his friends decided to rename him to make his name sound like that of a manservant) or who is Satyendra Aggarwal for he is Boss (for his dominating style.) Nor can I decipher the name Shubham Shankadhar for he is better known as Kholu (for he holds the best JEE rank among all the ISMites of my batch.) Then there is the case of Telly who is called so because of his exceptionally poor eyesight. I am sorry but I do not know his real name.

The rename game runs high in college life and most names stay even after leaving the institute. There is hardly anyone left out whose name hasn’t been transformed into something creative. My message to all those who believe in the statement: “What’s in a name?” Well, at college your name may not just identify you. Beware! If you have a bunch of creative friends, it might just reflect your entire personality or even peculiarity.

The Final Word

Note: This post was written by me almost a year ago with the motive of signing off from the editorial team of the official newsletter of I.S.M. University: Mailer Daemon (MD). Now that I have reduced my involvement to a bare minimum, I must say that MD has given me the unforgettable memories that I would always cherish. Also I must add that the following post has already been featured on the following two blogs:

• SAME DIFFERENCE by Siddhant Pattanaik at www.whatsinsidshead.blogspot.com
• TO BE OR NOT TO BE by Vijit Prabhu at www.vijit-theomnipresent.blogspot.com
I thank the authors for giving my article a space at a time when I had no identity on the web.

A year has passed since I pushed myself into Team MD. And I have managed to stick to it till today. My colleagues in the team are aware of two kinds of Team MD members: one, those who are dedicated to it and work hard till the end. They ‘eat, dream and think MD’ while working on an issue. The second category belongs to those who were not able to cope up with the pressure and left MD for its and their good. Guess I am a third kind- a category still needed to be researched. (Right now, my colleagues are working on our last issue, while I am typing this article.)
But this article is not about ‘how I fared for MD’. So let us forget this part and let me tell you what is going on in MD right now. Right now, we are interviewing candidates for selecting a new team for MD. How I had waited for this moment since the day I was selected. Back then, I imagined this day as one in which I would scrutinize, analyze and cross-question each candidate so as to bring out the true successors of our team. Now, I amuse myself by watching my colleagues do the same. Just on the second day of the interviews, I found myself hardly uttering a word. (Don’t dream of an HR like me!) ‘My colleagues, try to recall, I was there sitting right beside you.’ I watched, as some anxious, some nervous and some energetic faces took the chair before me while Ishant from one end and Shreya from the other, hovered like vultures, ready to peck at every slip of their tounge. Among the remaining enthusiasts were Sid, Divir, Sukhi, Avinash and Sukanya, ready to chip in their part whenever they got a chance. ‘The dedicated and sincere team MD.’ Meanwhile, ‘the Bad Boy of team MD’ (that’s me) was busy planning this article and was randomly generating numbers to fill up his analysis sheet. I decided to go back in time and put myself in the interviewee’s position to analyze how I would have fared in the same test.  

Interviewer (MD): Would you like to introduce yourself?
Me: (Actually no. My name is a bit too long and you would forget it, the moment I leave this room. My branch will sound alien to you and my hobby-reading books- is of no practical use to you. Anything I mention thereafter about myself will generate further cross questions- causing myself to land in trouble. It is most unwise to introduce myself. But will have to say :) Yes.

MD: Introduce yourself.
Me: I would blabber out the usual intro and add nothing extra, lest I provoke further questions. All this, I would say in a loud tone, with an accent so that you get irritated and leave me quickly.

MD: What do you want your role to be in MD?
Me: (Let me think. If I choose editor it means sitting at my comp, reading other’s articles, sometimes writing by myself. OK, I will manage that, others will most probably help. Reporting will mean running here and there, speaking to admin etc etc. That is too much work. Easy decision.) I want to take up an editor’s job.
I now realize that back then my decision to choose editor actually got me selected. I escaped the PI round, something -I now feel, I would never have qualified.

MD: Where is the campus administration building and the maintenance department?
Me: (Campus Administration has to be within the campus. That is one thing I am sure of. But Murphy’s Law states that: ‘the greatest myth about administration is that, it exists.’ That makes CA a mythical place. What the hell!) I don’t know where the CA is.
Of course, I know where the maintenance department is. It is right behind the workshop. I went there once in the first year to get my window’s glass fixed. I had broken it, made it drop right from the first floor. The complaint got registered, nothing happened thereafter.

MD: What are your likes and dislikes about ISMU?
Me: (I must be cautious about this question- a tricky one. These guys love to point out shortcomings about ISMU, be it students or the admin. So to impress them, I must do the same. The part about ‘likes’ is just a pitfall, I must avoid. I am a clever guy.)
I dislike the students of ISMU. They make too much fuss about everything. There is a breed in ISM which wastes a year discussing ‘why shouldn’t we give certificates of merit to our rivals?’And prior to this, they would plan out a strategy for a month to ‘reach to a particular high status so that they can discuss the previously mentioned question.’ There is another species which goes on claiming for ‘more space.’ Then there is another which spends most of their time in challenging this claim. There is a group that has decided that its life’s ambition is to see all the infrastructural developments that ISM is ever capable of within their four or five years of stay in ISMU. Also ISM must have an increased area and the net speed must build up every year-all this they must witness while they are here. Finally there is MD which compiles all of this into six pages and hands it back to them.

What do I like about ISMU? I like the students of ISMU. There is a breed which is hell-bent on making a mark at ISMU. They would go up to any extent to fulfil their ambition, while they are here at ISMU. Be it promoting their departmental identity, helping the poor, or inspiring entrepreneurial skills, they are always out at the forefront. They are warriors. Remember the shout when the trophy of Muqabla was brought home. Remember Mechathlon, remember Sparx. Those were the times when ISM shone like never before. Ask yourself, don’t they deserve a little more than what they are getting? Maybe they asked for coaches, maybe they asked for a little more departmental and admin cooperation. Shouldn’t an effort be made to grant these? Remember: ‘A college is known by its students.’ And finally there is MD, which is composed of heroes selected from this breed. (When shall the groups mentioned previously get merged with this breed? But I guess, they are one and the same. ‘A mere flip changes the face of the coin.’)

MD: Improvements for MD?
Me: MD. When was the last time I read the complete paper? I remember noticing bar graphs in one of the issues. Then once, there was an article about status of girls in ISM - written by girls of course. You generally expect such stuff from them. ‘Good (status) generally leads to the expectation of Better (status).’ Once again, there was a full page of ‘Ruby Survey’. But that article was not for me. I have stopped staring at them since the time they started staring at me as if they were looking at an ‘ascetic kid.’ No wonders there. I hardly speak, while in group. Other than these, I hardly recall any other article. Therefore you must increase the frequency of MD so that people like me at least remember a bunch of articles to speak about.

The final question was usually based on a situation, where one had to interview an admin member usually. I having chosen editorship would have escaped this question. So let me tell you, that my colleagues pretended to be part of the admin and conducted a mock interview. From their act, the following things about the admin were clear:

• The admin is ready to come up with excuses at every mistake that is pointed out.
• The admin/G.Sec is ready to take up any action if ‘approached through a proper channel.’
• Everything is student’s fault. ‘No proper events are conducted because students don’t turn up.’(So no point conducting a better event.) ‘The sports complex need not be improved since the students won’t maintain it.’
• The Yahoo HR will never accept the existence of ISMU at least in this life.
• G.Sec will simply act as an interface between students and admin. He lacks the brains or guts to gather support and fight for a cause.

There were further inferences, but I don’t remember them right now.
There you go. I have spoken my heart out. I seldom do that. Judge for yourself whether I deserve to be in MD team after giving such an interview. By the way do not mistake this for a BC article. Trivial BC is not my job. I am totally serious regarding all views expressed. Also I am responsible for any hurt feelings upon reading this article. ‘Hate mails invited.’

Could it be?

I had been pacing up and down the Computer Science department, waiting for a chance to get one of my numerous proposals forwarded. The proposal was supposed to benefit the computer student community at our college in general and thus my anxiety was justified. A meeting was underway and I could hear the haughty discussion going on, making it absolutely clear that I was not welcome. The teacher, I was interested in discussing my proposal with was known for his ego which usually overshadowed his kindness to students. Frankly, it was not in my best interests to cross him. Hence the thump in my heart was quite natural and I constantly wished myself a successful and quick discussion.

After ‘toing and froing’ for about half an hour and seeing that there was no end in sight for the meeting, I let my thoughts drift to more interesting channels, when the other Devdeep came up with this crazy idea: why, cannot this meeting be held on GTalk, with the various professors engaging in button punching sessions from their rooms to decide the supposed fate of this department. I would then be able to discuss my agenda without interrupting the meeting. I knew that the other I was talking both sense and nonsense. Sense because had we not participated in numerous such meetings, exchanging ideas, having endless debating sessions in whatever extra -curricular activities we engaged ourselves at college. Also, let me add that these meetings usually continued for hours, often through the entire evening and well into the night. Therefore such ’fruitful’ meetings were actually possible. On the other hand, it was nonsense to think that the professors would acquire such a habit because of the simple reason that they were um,’ professors.’ Can’t compare them to us, frolicking students you know.

But could it be? Could our teachers, with all their experience and knowledge possess the mentoring and the warmth of our seniors? Imagine a college where you can simply barge into the chamber of your most senior professor and he would greet you with a friendly smile of ‘wassup?’ The hierarchy among the Profs on the basis of their official post would not let them cover themselves in the veils of superiority and their every success or promotion will be followed by a gala treat. Would we hesitate then to throw a separate party to them after landing on that 10M package of glory? This is supposed to be a serious post but allow me to say that that my mathematics department is the only one progressing in this direction by giving us regular company at the campus tea stall.

Not that this euphoric dream of extra friendly professors includes the perception of curtailing the seriousness of the job of a teacher. The dream does not allow a student to disobey the teacher without receiving a harsh punishment in return. For that matter, do we not obey our seniors and carry out their errands as if we were part of a team. The dream will only make us obey our teachers with a more willing attitude. Also, we still allow them to set the toughest question papers in the ever formidable examinations albeit with the warmth and enthusiasm with which we set the seemingly disastrous papers of technical competitions. However, this also enforces them to conduct the classes with the attitude of a final year conducting a workshop for his juniors. This should ensure that no stone is left unturned to impart the most difficult concepts in the best possible manner. Imagine a classroom, where the matter is presented through the most professional slides prepared after hunting resources from the global library called internet; where every class is followed by rigorous doubt clearing sessions at the end of which a student is simply left craving for more. Also, the hypothesis ends where you start imagining booze parties with your mentors that you are so familiar with, in the company of seniors.

Now that I have managed to capture your attention by letting you savour this delightful dream of mentoring teachers; like a good mathematician I wish to contradict the foundation of my very own hypothesis thereby stating that achieving this dream is too unrealistic and maybe, too good to be true. The reasons being:

• The age difference between us and our teachers is significantly larger than that our seniors and hence their mentality cannot be compared. Hence a teacher-student relationship is lot more formal than a senior-junior relationship
• The control of our seniors on us is only virtual while teachers virtually control our careers. Hence the seniors need to be friendly as well as strict to their juniors so as to team up with them in order to accomplish a task.
• The comparison between a workshop and a classroom is also unrealistic since a teacher needs to deal with a seemingly endless syllabus. Also, bringing quality into the teaching is not mandatory since teachers need not desire their classroom to be audience puller which is obligatory for the workshop organisers.
• Often the cause of unfriendliness of a teacher towards a student can be attributed to his personal frustration and intra-departmental tensions.

Look around you and you will find even the best and most cordial teachers keeping you at an arm’s length due to one or more of the aforementioned causes. However, if you remember the teachers at your school or at your coaching institute, you would know that they actually come a long way in fulfilling this dream. Hence somehow I still feel that this distance can be bridged, the passage can be levelled. Maybe it requires a total reconstruction of the system, a total remodelling of the mentality and general attitude towards the profession. So what do you think, could this dream be lived? Could it be?